Rodent Infestation Plagues New Orleans Police Headquarters, Evidence Room

In a startling revelation, the New Orleans Police Department (NOPD) has disclosed that its aging downtown headquarters is overrun with rats and other pests, including rodents that have been feasting on marijuana stored in the evidence room.

Superintendent Anne Kirkpatrick informed city council members this week that the rats appear to be “all high” after consuming the confiscated cannabis. The unprecedented admission highlights the dire conditions within the dilapidated police facility.

Beyond the evidence room break-in, Kirkpatrick painted a disturbing picture of the headquarters’ state of disrepair. Rats have infested the building, leaving feces on desks and workspaces, while cockroaches and mold pose additional health hazards.

An anonymous veteran officer described the headquarters as never having “recovered from Katrina,” referring to the 2005 hurricane that submerged parts of the structure. Plumbing, HVAC systems, and elevators are all failing within the 55-year-old complex.

The squalid conditions have prompted the NOPD’s years-long quest for new accommodations. Kirkpatrick, who became superintendent last October, is “adamant” about securing alternative facilities for the 400 personnel currently working amidst the crumbling infrastructure.

At this week’s council meeting, she sought approval to temporarily relocate the department to two floors of a downtown high-rise while a permanent solution is devised. The committee granted authorization, advancing the proposal to the full council.

The police headquarters’ plight exemplifies broader maintenance woes afflicting New Orleans’ criminal justice buildings. “Right now, we are addressing police headquarters because it is in dire straits,” stated the city’s chief administrative officer, Gilbert Montaño.

While the anecdote of rodents indulging in confiscated cannabis may seem humorous, it underscores the unacceptable state of the NOPD’s home base – an issue the department has been trying to resolve for half a decade.

Reports of evidence room marijuana consumption by rodents have previously surfaced in Argentina and India, though the veracity of such claims remains dubious. Nonetheless, New Orleans’ admission shines a spotlight on the urgency of upgrading its rapidly decaying police infrastructure.